How an Executive Assistant Can Help You Keep Boundaries Without Burning Bridges

This is probably a familiar scene. 

You’re getting ready to leave work for the night, and an email notification pops up asking if you have time for a quick meeting or “Can you look over this real quick and get back to me tonight” or “We’d love to send you a complimentary gift of XYZ.” 

As an executive or leader at your company, your time is in constant demand. Saying "no" to calendar requests, speaking events, PR, and unsolicited gifts can be extremely time consuming and frustrating. After all, you don’t want to burn any bridges or spend your entire day trying to think of polite ways to decline.  

So, how do you handle these situations? 

Pair up with an excellent executive assistant, lay out some rules, and put solid systems in place. 

Here’s the skinny:

1 – Media and Speaking Requests 

While it’s often flattering and a positive thing to be asked to speak or be featured in a publication, there are times when doing a media appearance doesn’t make sense or isn’t a priority. But it can be tricky – you don’t want to damage a relationship with a journalist or conference leader in case you want to work together in the future. (And, as a rule, we here at Lisa & Co. believe in being courteous to everyone!) So, how do you say no while keeping things light and professional? 

Enter your stellar executive assistant. Expertly trained to handle awkward situations, your EA can help you turn down requests and keep relationships intact. We'll recommend you have a standardized system to quickly respond to media and speaking requests while keeping things fair. As a rule, the responses are gracious, thanking the person for their time and interest, explaining in an honest and succinct way why it won’t work this time, and leaving the relationship open to future collaboration.

Bonus points if you can recommend a colleague or someone else who might be a good fit for the article or speaking engagement.

2 – PR and Unsolicited Gifts

Many leaders with a social media following or prominent positions often find themselves fielding PR requests or unsolicited gifts. Whether simply well-meaning or with hopes of getting a shoutout or sponsorship, these requests should all be handled with care. 

One of the best ways to handle this is to already have a system in place and expectations set. A media page on your website is a fantastic way for people to find out the best way to get in touch with you and what they can expect. 

After you’ve established that system, it’s easy for your EA to handle requests and only get in touch with you if the request meets your criteria. Your EA can help you craft a polite and professional stock response for inquiries that you aren’t interested in. 

3 – Unsolicited Calendar Time 

Probably the most challenging time to say no and set boundaries is with your calendar. If you’re an executive or have several people that report to you for various things, your time will always be a commodity. And that doesn’t include various people outside your organization who might want a minute of your time as well. 

Thankfully, managing a calendar is a specialty of every EA we train. Here’s how we manage these kinds of requests. First, setting a specific time or “office hours” when you’re available to chat or have time for a call is a great way to curb calendar requests and incidents of people stopping you on your way to the restroom. If all the employees at your organization know that office hours are from 2-3 pm on Thursdays, they’ll know exactly when to present or chat with you. 

Second, it’s a great idea to set up a priority system with your EA. This isn’t a system that determines which people are more important, but which tasks and conversations are most important to happen right now. Setting up a priority system will allow your EA to triage your scheduled calls, so your priorities (and the company’s priorities) don’t get put on the backburner. 

Third, have expectations in place that allow you and your EA to quickly determine what needs to be an email, what needs to be a phone call, and what needs to be an in-person meeting. Often what we feel needs to be a meeting can be handled on a quick phone call or email. It saves everyone time when you’re realistic and judicious with how you communicate. 

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Sometimes saying “no” makes us feel guilty. We want to give everyone the same respect we give to our time. Here are three ways you can make the “no’s” easier on everyone. 

1 - Remember that no is not always forever

Sometimes when our requests are turned down or we aren’t able to talk with someone when we hoped, it’s easy to feel like that is a permanent rejection. The truth is, most “no’s” aren’t forever. If your request is denied, simply respond by asking when a better time to chat would be. You could also offer up a few dates and times when you know you’ll be available, or send them a link to your calendar with a built-in meeting generator. Calendly and Acuity both set up meetings with reminders and a link to a join Zoom call the day of the call. Don’t be discouraged; you may not know what the other person is dealing with at the moment and it might be in your best interest to wait until they aren’t so busy or distracted. 

2 - Have standard, consistent availability 

Similar to the office hours we mentioned earlier, you’ll find you’re getting and saying “no” a lot less often if people are able to reach you at a predetermined time. Whether it’s a link to a Zoom call that’s open for one hour for anyone to join or keeping your door open for conversation during a specific time of the week, expectations always lead to better communication. 

Having consistent availability also allows you to make time to handle any issues that come up while you’re meeting with people. If you have office hours for one hour on Thursday, you can also have a 30-minute block right after to deal with anything pressing that comes up during that time. And these scheduled availability doesn't have to be limited to people at your organization. You can block off time to talk to your kids after school each day or to make sure you actually get a decent lunch. 

3 - Shut down the technology and extend some grace 

This tip and the one above go hand in hand. With the chaotic changes COVID brought this year, it’s important that we are giving ourselves some breathing room and understanding when we've reached our limits. If you are saying “yes” to everything, you are also saying “no” to something else.

If you block out time for the things that are important to you, it’s easier to say no. If you want to have dinner with your family every night, block it out and let everyone know you have a prior commitment. 

Stepping away from technology for a few hours or a day is another great way to refresh and introduce some balance into your life. We’re not going to make you go to a spa or book a trip to the beach (though, we can definitely do those things for you), but we are recommending, in our professional opinion, that you establish and respect boundaries so you can say yes to the things you really care about and no to the things that don’t excite you. And yes, you bet your EA can help with all three of these things! 

What is your best tip for saying no without sacrificing relationships or your weekends?